Seamus Zelazny Harper - Acting Lead Engineer Andromeda Ascendent
harper harper harper
"It must have killed you not to be able to fix it...
not that I can identify with that."
--The Mathematics of Tears

More words from Harper...

"We don't have any money?... Well, I can get us most of this stuff, but you need to rig for a fast getaway."
    --The Pearls That Were His Eyes
"I grew up on Earth. I lived through Nietszchean raids and Magog swarms and famines and plagues and you know what? The Nietszcheans were the worst... Sure, I could be changing the future, but when it comes right down to it it doesn't matter what future I create because nothing could be worse than letting the Nietzcheans win."
    --Angel Dark, Demon Bright
"All I ever wanted, all my life, was to know things, where they came from, how they work... Now I do, and all I can see, over and over and over again, is people dying."
    --Harper 2.0
"A sun! I hid it in a sun? How the hell did I do that?"
    --Into the Labyrinth
"Wrong. Standing next to you, Dylan, Beka, Rommie, Rev, or... well, then I'm one of the good guys. But I didn't survive twenty years on that hellhole we lovingly call Earth by being Santa's little helper. I survived by being the nastiest piece of work that ever clubbed someone over the head in a back alley for a hunk of cheese."
    --Fear and Loathing in the Milky Way
"It's half mystical mumbo-jumbo , half putrid poetry, and half bad math." "That's three halves." "Like I said, bad math."
    --It Makes a Lovely Light
"What the hell is this mess?" "It's only a mess to the uninitiated."
    --Harper 2.0
Intruders: if you do not surrender, emergency venting will begin in one minute "That can not be good."
    --Its Hour Come Round At Last
"Oh. Here. I think I know what's wrong with your slipstream drive. It's missing."
    --The Mathematics of Tears
"There's somebody in there." "Well, don't just stand there. Open it." "Wha--No! You open it."
    --Harper 2.0
"Harper! Our mission is to escort this convoy to Rojenna, not settle scores with the Drago-Kazovs." "Settle scores? Listen to me, Rommie: the Drago-Kazov practically owned Earth while I was growing up, them and other Nietzcheans just like them, and while you and Dylan were having your little three-hundred-year nap, they were running around doing one of two things: making people's lives miserable, or making them non-existant. Now, if we get to Acheron and no-one's there, great. But Beka is not here right now, and Beka is never late. For all we know, she could be dead right now because of them, so, if you don't mind, I am gonna keep my scorecard handy. Just in case."
    --Una Salus Victus
"Trust in the Harper. The Harper is good."
    --Its Hour Come Round At Last
"Enlighten you? Okay: the Divine is good, don't do flash, and if you're nice to people they probably still won't be nice to you."
    --Harper 2.0
"Your little melodrama isn't making things any better." "No. But it's not making things any worse. You know why? Because they couldn't be any worse!"
    --The Widening Gyre
"You exchanged one fake for another. And what do you know? Mine was better."
    --Heart for Falsehood Framed
"Great. 'Start the revolution without me.' Anything else I can do for you? Transmute the elements? Reverse entropy? Make you a sandwich?"
    --Bunker Hill
"The Drago-Kazov only win if they can stop the convoy. If we can protect that convoy, then the Drago-Kazov lose. Even if they destroy us, you will have beaten them, you, Harper, a pure, unmodified human--" "A kluge. Well, kluge this."
    --Una Salus Victus
"The convoy?" "It's through!" "Whoo-hoo! That means we still won, you uber bastards! All right, on my mark: attack pattern 'Last Act of Freakin' Defiance'!"
    --Una Salus Victus
"I think we should focus on fixing the problem right now. We can worry about other, minor things like assigning blame later."
    --Its Hour Come Round At Last
"I don't believe in Destiny. I don't even believe in density, except in the hands of a Perseid (it's a compliment). I believe in Seamus Zelazny Harper."
"Forget it. I'm done listening to you. Did you really think I'd play your stupid little games? Tempt me, scare me... kiss me, snare me? Give me a few convenient targets to try a little godlike power on and boom! All of a sudden I'm Seamus Harper, footsoldier of the Apocalypse. Well, not me, honey. I'm nobody's pawn. I don't even like chess."
    --Into the Labyrinth
"Please. There is no such thing as a free election. Inexpensive, maybe. Occasionally. But free? Never."
    --Home Fires
"These hands have been touched by God."
    --The Fair Unknown
"Ah... Yeah... Look. I just fix things. This whole... empathy thing... It's not really my strong suit."
"Tyr, you know Dylan's orders. We talk first, kill second. Well, Dylan's not here. I say we skip Step One and go straight to Step Save Our Freaking Butts."
    --The Belly of the Beast
"Oh, good. Another chapter in The World According to Seamus Harper." "My favorite book. Chapter 12, Paragraph 8, Verse 3: The Universe hates you. Get used to it."
    --D Minus Zero
"All right, all right. I can take a hint. I know when I'm not wanted. I usually don't pay any attention... but I know."
"It's one thing to do the work of a genius. But to reverse it: that's Harper genius."
    --If the Wheel Is Fixed
"All back full." "Run away? I can live with that." "In fact, I can't live without it."
    --Delenda Est
"My mind is slipping." "You mean your sense of reality--" "No, that's always slipping."
    The Universe Turns Around Her
"It came to me in my dreams. I guess it just proves that genius never sleeps. What looks like the Harper sleeping is really Genius at Work."
    Around and Around
"Huh. You'll have to sleep on the job more often, Mr Harper." "Thank you. I'll try to."
    The Universe Turns Around Her

And about him...
"Harper's twin muses: Chaos and Caffeine"
    --Fear and Loathing in the Milky Way
"If Harper were here, he'd fix this board with a kiss and a couple of paper clips."
    --The Ties That Blind
"It should be have been hours yet before anybody felt any effects." - "Maybe if we were all nice little Commonwealth citizens, that would be true. But Harper grew up in a refugee camp. His immune system's lousy at the best of times."
    --D Minus Zero
"I prefer my men strong and silent." - "Then you won't like Harper."
    --Fear and Loathing in the Milky Way
"You know, Harper: I've saved your skin before and I'll save it again, but you have got to get off my back or so help me, I'll drop you back on the trash heap where I found you."
    --It Makes A Lovely Light
"I know you; I have watched you. You are an annoying little man, but there is fire in your blood. Use it!"
    --Its Hour Come Round At Last
"We've waited for two years for this day; I can't believe Harper's missing it." "Oh, well, Dylan thought it would be best for everyone concerned if Harper was far, far away from the delegates."
    --The Tunnel at the End of the Light
"You're not coming, Harper. The situation is too dodgy, and I'd prefer knowing your brain was safe up here."
    --What Happens to a Rev Deferred?
"Who designed these modifications?.. This is your work? We should have babies."
    --Fear Burns Down to Ashes
"Oh, Harper."
    --Vault of the Heavens

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